Life Is So Unfair

I try to do what's "right."  But what if what I know in my heart to be right is completely wrong to some of the most important people in my life?  What if I've finally gotten what I've been looking for, but admitting that could potentially destroy something else that means so much to me?  I realize I'm kind of talking in code, and there's a reason for that.  People who know me well will probably get it.  But, regardless, I need to vent.  I just want to know, at what point, if ever, is it okay to put my happiness first?  I truly believe in second chances and open minds.  But, not everyone shares that perspective.  It's not fair for me to have to give up something that could make me so happy because of the opinions of others, no matter how important they are to me.  Yet, while I am 100% confident in my perspective, and in my "right" choice, I feel as though I'll pay for it either way.  The difference being who gets hurt, me or someone else.  I deserve to be happy.  And I deserve for the people I love to be happy for me.  So, why is this so impossible?  Life can be so unfair. :-(

30 Days

Well, it's been 30 days.  So, did I stick to the no alcohol plan?  Nope.  It turns out I have more of a social life than I realized.  But, I did stick to one important part of it, and that's no drinking alone/at home.  And mood-wise, I definitely do see an improvement, and it's a rule I plan to continue following.  In fact, I don't even miss it anymore.  I do still want to cut down on the social drinking, though.  It's not good for my waistline.  I blame it on the Winter.  It's too cold to be outside, sooooo.... go to a bar!  Once it gets warmer out, though, I'd like to take advantage of the outdoors more (and this time I don't mean the deck of the Manayunk Brewery) and be more active.  So, the war is far from over, but at least one battle has been won.